Yeah, I agree. Something is Missing.

(09.30.09) Something may be missing, but you're certainly not alone. Love you mom. You're amazing.

Grateful Dead

(09.30.09)

Two years ago today I took the LSAT, went to the wedding of a good friend, then headed out to karaoke after the reception. Funny how all of that pales to the memory of the rest of the evening: finding out that Dad was in the ER and, according to my youngest sister, "wasn't coming back home." It feels like forever, it feels like yesterday. And here we are today.

I am listening to my favorite Pandora radio station that plays nothing but the Dead, Bob Marley, CCR aka "hippie shit." It made me remember one of my favorite nights with Mom and Dad. They joined me and the Columbus gang for karaoke after their bowling match. I somehow convinced Dad to make his karaoke debut that evening. We sang the Grateful Dead's "Truckin'" to the best of our off-key, out of tune ability. And it was great fun. Oh, how grateful I am for those memories!

.

Forever

(09/29/09)

I'm sitting here at a Chinese restaurant near school. There's an older Asian chef who, for some reason, reminds me a lot of my dad. I'm not sure if its the squinty, beady eyes or the well worn smile, but there is something about him that tugs at my heart and asks me to remember my dad. And I realize that Forever my dad is gone. That it's not just two years since his death but that his death is Forever. That whatever goes on tomorrow also carries the memory of dad; memory and nothing more. Just the essence of him. I just cannot wrap my head around the concept of tomorrow, let alone forever. Its so huge. I choose not to think about it unless I'm forced to. And sometimes I am forced to. Like today.