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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Feelings of Inadequacy SQUASHED

Note: in no way is this post asking for sympathy or pity parties. It is quite the opposite, in fact! (or at least that is my intention)

Maybe I have said this before, but law school has a very direct way of making me feel dumb. Outright unintelligent, underachieving, incapable and generally inadequate. They say you should try to attend the very best law school that will offer you admission and then to surround yourself by smart people. I did that. I did not realize, however, just how smart everyone in law school would really be. For the first time in my life, I really struggled (academically). Haunting feeling of: you aren't good enough, you aren't smart enough, and you will never make it, often permeate my mind.

Lately, however, things are changing. A little. School is still very very hard, colleagues are still very very smart, but finally a little break has come my way. A little break that makes me think, "hmm maybe I am good enough and smart enough and still make good impressions on people... "

I just wanted to share that with you. I think its a good idea for us to admit when we feel defeated and shout with joy when the world spins our way.

PS: the little "change" is a 10 hour/week gig with the law school's Human Rights Quarterly journal. The position is new and apparently I fit the job description. The most encouraging part is that I did not apply for this job, I did not know it existed, and I certainly did not know I was being considered. Oh the fun ahead.

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